FOR MY DAUGHTER

I couldn't sleep last night. It was feeling like some hours later a part of my body was to be taken out, how could I sleep! In the morning I saw the beautiful sunrise but I knew that today's sun will set with my daughter's marriage and she will be gone forever. Time moves so fast. I just can't believe she spent twenty-four years with me!

My daughter Anny has been my nurse for last twenty years. It was her fifth birthday when I lost both of my legs and since then she is nursing me. When it comes to daughters, it is so strange feeling inside. That’s just because being a parent, or rather being a father I am always worried about or rather I had always been worried about that one day my daughter will leave me to go to her husband's house. It doesn't matter how much you love your daughter, she has to go one day. Its an acrid reality.
Anny was among the most intelligent and adroit students in her school. In sports she had never been good at basketball or tennis, just because she was very good at them. I still remember the day when she was teaching Johny, my nephew, tennis.
" Here just hold it like this", my eleven-year-old daughter told her younger brother. " Now start again."
She taught him the best tricks and the best ways. I was surprised at the tenacity and exhortation of my child when she told her younger brother to be serious when it comes to games. " Johny, you ought to be serious, games are not just for fun, try making them your career. Just keep your practice sessions continuous and don't be lazy."
Anny was totally good at everything - studies, sports, music, cooking, housework, singing, dancing and of course talking. When she talked, she never had a full stop. She will keep talking and laughing. She was happy if she made others join her conversation, otherwise she would keep talking, talking and just talking.
At the age of thirteen, she was serious about her studies but as I had to undergo some operations in hospital; she devoted her full time to me too and never missed her school and studies. While I was in hospital, she would come and give me food, medicine and believe me she was the only person who talked to doctor about my condition. I sometimes cursed myself for spoiling the childhood of my innocent child in nursing her father, when other girls were busy having fun and spending time to think how to get attention of boys.
I was talking to a nurse in the hospital after the operation. She said, " Mr. Brown, your daughter is very sweet and at such a young age she is so responsible. You are lucky to get a daughter like her."
" Yes sister, I am lucky. Its all because of her and just for her that I am living."
" How old is she?"
" Thirteen...and look how much she cares for me at this age, as if she was ten years older then what she is."
" Ya...she loves you very much."
" Hmm...but look at me...I can't do anything what I am supposed to do for her being a father. I want to go to places with her, I want to spend time with her outside, I want to play with her, I want to dance with her but...I...I’m filled with chagrin whenever I think about this."
" I understand Mr. Brown, Anny is a great child. She understands it well too but why to repent on something that is now not possible. Just think of how you can keep her more and more happy."
" Look at me sister, she can't even suspect to have a surprise gift on her birthday from her father. I feel so constricted."
" Why can't you give her surprise gifts? If you can't go, why don't you send someone or why don't you order them on Internet?"
" Till she was four I had always brought her gifts. It was her birthday and I was going to buy her a present, when I met this accident and I lost both of my legs and still this hand keeps me in problems."
" I understand Mr. Brown" said the sister.
At night when it was time for my sleeping pill, Anny came to me and before giving the pill she told me, " Papa, I am so lucky to have a father like you. You are world's best papa." I kissed her on her forehead. She further said, " Papa, don't ever feel bad that you can't keep me happy because you are handicapped. I am happy then most of the other children are because no one else's father lives because of them and just for them, its just you."
I never knew she overheard my conversation with the nurse. I kept looking at her; her eyes were a bit wet. Before I could say anything, pills conquered me.
Anny always told me about her school things, her friends and teachers. Basically nothing was hidden from me. Like she told me how her mathematics teacher's son asked her for a date but she had to refuse. Her "but" was just I. I understood every time. When she went out with a boy for the first time, she was very nervous. " Papa, what if he asks me for next time?" I noticed her trepidation.
" Tell him yes if you like him else tell him wait for sometime."
" Papa, if he asks me, that do I like him, then?"
I said with a smile. " You like him, say yes, and if you don't like him say yes. Its simple." And then she asked me, " Am I looking alright? I mean is it ok to go out with him wearing this?" And I said, " Honey, everything is ok."
When she came back to me, she just said, " Papa, I really had a very good time. Danny is a wonderful person." That day I knew that Anny was a big girl now. I realized that someone else has entered into her life. But I knew, this was to happen someday.
Danny entered Anny's life but her love for me remained implicitly unalloyed. Everything remained normal though I knew that it was being deliberately done. We talked about everything but Danny. When he was the subject, Anny's eyes were bright. She liked talking about him but she was also aware that whenever it came to Danny I was sad of losing my daughter one day. She now understood everything, so she kept his talks a bit apart.
No doubt Danny was a wonderful guy, though he couldn't play tennis or basketball still Anny liked him, so I liked him too. His face was more or less drooping down just like an ancient piece of post box, but Anny said " never look down a person coz of his looks" so I didn't look down on him. I never commented on his inability to sing well, but Anny said, he danced well at discos, so it was a no problem. Danny was fully protected from any defects.

Anny will be gone tonight. It’s tough but I have to accept it like every other father in this world. It’s such a strange feeling, you are happy but you’re not. I’m going to miss her terribly.
There are relatives all over my home. She is no less then an actress today. She will wear her wedding gown. How beautiful she looks in that! I still remember when we bought her wedding gown. She was so...
" Papa!...everyone is waiting for you."
" Anny...you look beautiful, my child."
" Papa, are you alright?"
" Absolutely. And you listen when you will be gone tonight, I will not shed a single tear for you. You don't worry. Just be with me till that time."
" Papa, time has come. It’s night already. And everyone is waiting for you."
" ...I...I didn't realize. I had been here for so long!"
" I know. I came twice; you were in memories. I didn't disturb."
“ Let’s go. Danny would be waiting.”
“ ...Hmmm...”